I was talking to my sister today and she reminded me that today was Mom’s birthday. I had to admit that I had not thought about it until she mentioned it. She would have been 107 today. She passed away more than twenty years ago, but that is not an excuse for her not being on my mind. I have not written much about my mother, and I am not sure why that is the case. I love my mother and always have as far back as my memories go.
I have written about the struggles that existed during the early years of my parents living during World War I, the Great Depression, World War II, and the Korean War. I have tried to tell how those events shaped my parents and others who lived at that time. I have tried to use that information to explain my views today of what it was like for me as a child. To explain we did not have much, but we were no different from other families.
I have not written about how I felt as a child growing up in our family. My mom, dad, brother, and two sisters lived in a two-bedroom house with one bathroom. Our Mom loved us very much but did not tell us that often. She showed us that love every day in many ways. Mom did not have much school knowledge, because she quit school early to help take care of her many brothers and sisters before getting married at 17.
Mom was one of the hardest workers I have ever known. I remember her answer to my question I asked her in my early teen years. I asked her about what kind of work I should do when I grew up. She said, “It does not matter what you do as long as it is honest and does not hurt others.” At that point, my thought was that did not help much, but it stayed with me throughout my work life. There were times when I could have taken contracts that could have provided more money, but it might have gotten too close to the honest line. Her advice was not the only factor involved with my passing on the contract, but I remembered her words.
Mom was our protector, our buffer between us and our Dad. Dad was a good man. He was a hard worker and a dependable person. He did not drink and never had any relationships with other women. He was a heavy smoker, but that was normal for men during his life. He was a smart person and read the paper daily. However, Dad had a temper that he would lose control over at times. We did not hear “Wait tell your dad gets home” very often because Mom would try to be our “buffer”. As a result, sometimes she would feel his anger. In today’s world, it could be considered domestic violence. There were no broken bones, no black eyes, and no trips to the hospital. Our lives were never threatened and there were never any separations or counseling. No one outside of the family knew. As a father myself, I know Eva handled most of the discipline issues in our family, but when I did get involved, I tried to be more like my mom and handle it not in anger. I do not think our daughters created as many issues as maybe I did, but we all make mistakes.
Why would I write about this now? If you read what I have written, it is not unlike what Jesus did for all of us when He was on the cross. In her way, Mom was taking much of the punishment that we might receive for what we did as children. Mom was a good cook and kept the house clean and made a lot of our clothes during our early years. She worked at the elementary school as the lunchroom manager for many years and then at various jobs as long as she could drive. While we were still in school, the money she earned went to buy us clothes and other things we needed for school. After Dad passed away, she went back to work to help pay for things she wanted and never had the money before to have them. She took a lot of trips to different places around the world and experienced things that she had only dreamed of before.
Mom was a good person, she loved God, and she loved her family. Mom loved the church and was involved with church activities often. She kept her Bible on her coffee table when she was not reading it. When I think about all of the things she did after Dad passed away, I am still amazed. She learned to Square dance and had fun with that group of people. She took up bowling and bowled in a league for a while. She took painting lessons and I have some of her paintings. She took piano lessons for a while. She continued to mow her grass and wash her car as long as she was able. The only thing she struggled with was living day-to-day in her last years without the freedom to go and do what she wanted to do.
I still miss her in many ways; however, for the past two years, I have thought about Eva more. I remember Mom teaching Eva some things about sewing and sharing recipes. I remember trips that we took together as an extended family. At this point in my life, I thank God for the Mom and Dad I had, because I know they had a great deal to do with how I responded to the things I experienced in my life.
Love you, Mom.
