Funerals or Celebrations of Life are a mixture of emotions in the best circumstances. They bring together family and friends you may have not seen for years, and you wonder why that happens. When you see their faces, your mind takes you back to a special moment or event. That may be followed by other memories of fun times or silly moments that have been hidden away in your memory.
As you hear family and friends sharing their memories and feelings for the one who has gone on to Heaven, emotions can range from smiles to tears. Grief is both personal and collective. We hurt and grieve for the individual and for the family members. We want to do something to help them with their pain and we struggle to find the right words for comfort. Being there lets them know you care.
Grief is an individual experience that has multiple phases and solutions. Each person is different and will manage each of the phases differently. Some may be more visible, and others may internalize their feelings more. It is normal to have “if only” feelings that lead to a form of guilt of thinking they could have changed the outcome. That path of thinking should be replaced with “God knows best.” Grief is a reminder of the love you have for that person.
The expectation we have is that we will grow old and die someday, and we will leave behind children and grandchildren who will miss us when we are gone. While that is normal, the truth is that tomorrow is not promised to any of us. Today, regardless of our age or circumstances, could be our last day here on Earth. The best medication for grief is knowing our loved one, loved Jesus Christ and through Jesus, had the assurance of being with God forever. Next, take every opportunity to tell your loved ones, you love them. Never let the day end without resolving any issues between you.
It is important to remember that our loved ones do not carry with them any anger, disappointment, or sadness from their time here on Earth. In Revelation 21 where John is writing about “All things made new” in the new heaven and new earth, he shares this truth. James writes in James 4 about planning our tomorrow.
3 And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. 4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
5 Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.”
Revelation 21 New King James Version
13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; 14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.
James 4:13-14 New King James Version
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