Unconditional Love

During my first year in college at U of H, I had a class assignment in English to write a term paper that would count as most of the semester’s grade. The paper had to be written on something abstract and it had to be written and turned in one page at a time for each grade. This was in the January-May semester of 1962, during the Cold War with the Soviet Union. No list of abstract subjects was provided, so I wrote my paper on “The Communist Mind”. That was something that concerned me at the time. I went to the library for my research and the reference documentation that had to be included for each submitted page. I was pretty proud of what I turned in to be graded. When I got my paper back from the Professor, it had a C+ grade with a note saying, “I don’t like the subject you chose, choose a different subject!”

Boy, that hurt my ego, but I got the message. By that point, I realized she was into a lot of that “love” stuff based on our other assignments and sketches we were doing. I changed the subject for my paper to “What is Love?” I spent much more time in the library trying to find good reference materials that the Professor would find acceptable, but not too familiar in case she thought I was copying lines directly from the books. Hardest I ever worked on an assignment. At the deadline for turning in page two, I had to turn in a new page one and page two because I had chosen a new subject. I was not sure how that would be accepted, so I did not sleep very well until I got the graded paper back. The assignment was for exactly five pages, not four and a half or five and one-fourth. When I got my paper, my grade was an A with a note “Much better choice, keep up the good work.” English was never that hard during my school years, but it was not my favorite subject. By the end of the semester and the term paper was completed, my grade was A+ and I considered myself to be pretty smart on the subject of “Love”.

Truth is, I only thought I knew what “love” even looked like. Those feelings I thought were love, were emotions prompted by relationships I enjoyed. I knew the excitement I felt around some people that I was close to and I knew how I felt when a relationship had ended. I knew my family loved me and I loved them as I understood love. I knew God loved me, and I knew Jesus had died for our sins. During the years before I got married, I had used the word “love” to describe relationships without understanding the true impact of what life-long love is.

When Eva and I got married, I knew I loved Eva and she loved me. Our relationship was different. We both believed we would be together as long as we lived. It took me longer than it should have to realize that Eva loved me more than I loved myself. That she loved me when I did good stuff and she loved me at those other times just as much. She never tried to change me, only to give me a peek at who I could be. There were times when I disappointed her and maybe she cried, but she never quit loving me. The more I saw how much she loved to sing about how great God is and the more I saw how she loved our family – I finally understood what “unconditional love” looked like. I then understood the magnitude of God’s Unconditional Love on a personal level. Scriptures that I knew took on a greater meaning. There was less of “me” in my thoughts and more of “we”. I understood that God loved me and He wanted me to make changes that would allow me to experience greater joy in my life. Those changes allowed me to see a bigger picture. I began to realize that God had been a bigger part of our marriage from the beginning. He knew my needs and he filled those needs with Eva.

If you don’t know that feeling, spend whatever time you need with God in prayer and expect Him to meet your needs. Many people have asked me “What is the secret to a long happy marriage?” Don’t expect a marriage to be without problems and learn what unconditional love is. Unconditional love says you will get through the storms together, no matter what caused the storm.

Vince Gill – Look At Us