Too Late for Sorry

It was during May 1962, when I first dated Emily. She was a friend of Jo Ann’s at Sam Houston. The two of us went to the beach at Freeport for the day, just lying on the sand and talking most of the day. We used suntan lotion, but when we started to leave the beach, we noticed that both of us were very red. During the drive back home, we began to realize we were cooked. We laughed about how dumb that was and then wondered what we would tell her Mom. By the time we got back to her house, we both were feeling the burning and were extremely uncomfortable. I remember thinking her Mom would not let Emily go out on a date with me again.

As soon as we saw her Mom, I apologized for letting her get sunburned. Her Mom said something like “You didn’t have the sense to get out of the hot sun.” When I left her house, I assumed our dating was over. The next day I called Emily to check on her and tell her again that I was sorry, I should have known better. She told me that she was in pain and that she would survive, but not looking forward to the peeling skin that would follow. She told me that her Mom kept laughing at her when she complained about her pain. I was surprised that her parents were not upset with me, and that Emily was eager to continue a relationship with me. I do not know if Emily was dating other boys, but I was not wanting to be in a steady relationship at that time.

After I finished my finals at U of H, I got a job working at Gulf Oil. I started working in the Mail Room assigned to the 10^th Floor Front Desk. My starting salary was $230 per month with benefits starting after 90 days. It was 7:30 to 4:30 working Mondays through Friday. I planned to work only through the summer and then quit to go back to U of H in September. After about 6 weeks, I got a promotion and was working in a File Room in the Accounting Department. At that point, my Dad started talking to me about my job, not really about the tasks I was doing but about the value of working for a company like Gulf. It surprised me because he had never talked to me about long-range plans or my career. I was the first in my family to go to college and he was proud of me for completing my first year. I decided to buy a car and take night classes in the Fall and keep my job at Gulf.

Emily and I would have more dates during the summer months, but not as “going steady.”  Emily’s parents were renting, and they moved at least two times before her Dad decided to move to California to work. Emily did not want to move to California, she wanted to stay in Houston and finish high school at Sam Houston. I believe our relationship had something to do with that as well. Her Aunt lived not too far from the school, and they agreed to let her live with them. Her parents and younger brother moved to California and Emily moved in with her Aunt and Uncle. I began dating her more often because of those changes in her life.

Her Aunt and Uncle were great people and did so much for her and I enjoyed being around them. I got to know them better than her parents. Emily was in the Houstonettes, so I took her to many of the football games and other events. Those were some of the double dates with my sister, Jo Ann. After several months, her Mom began trying to talk Emily into moving to California with them. I realized the main thing keeping her here was our relationship. We had grown very close and were going steady. Emily’s Mom had suggested that I could move to California and get a job and go to college there.

When it was clear that Emily was going to move to California, I bought an engagement ring and asked her to marry me after I moved to California and got established. Emily moved to California with the plan that I would move there in a few months. My parents were not supportive of my plan to move to California or my plan to get married there. My Dad talked to me again about the value of working at Gulf and the long-term security that provided.

When the time for my move came, I told Emily I would be moving in a couple of weeks. The following day while driving home from work, my car died in the middle of I-45. The engine would not start, and I was on the side of the highway. When I got the car home, I took the heads off and discovered two busted pistons and a cracked block. I was going to need a rebuilt short block. I called Emily and told her that my move was off, at least for a while. I would need to get the car repaired and pay off that expense and have some money to make my car payments after moving to California for a few months. During that period, our letters became our way of continuing our relationship and talking about our future. At the same time, my Mom was more open about her not wanting me to move to California. She would tell me that I should not be sitting at home and that I should be doing things with other people. She meant I should be dating. Truth is, she just did not want me to be that far away. I think she liked Emily, but not our plans. Dad thought my future was better with me working at Gulf.

When the time came, I gave Gulf my two-week notice and started getting things ready for my move, then on Wednesday night, I got a call from Emily. She had moved back to her Aunt’s house. I was more than a little surprised by her move. She was afraid that something else would come up that could cause more delays. The next morning at work, I asked if I could keep my job at Gulf and rescind my notice. They agreed to keep me employed, but they had given that job to another worker. I would go back to the Mail Room until another position came open. That only took about two weeks and I got to move into the Data Processing Department.

I had a bigger problem with Emily that I had to take care of. I had taken another girl on a date during the period when I was unsure of when I would be moving. Emily had moved back to Houston to be with me, and I had to tell her what I had done. I do not really know if I would have told her if I had moved to California, but I knew I had to tell her after she came back here. I did not handle it well and do not know if there was anything that I could have done that would have made any difference. I wanted to fix the problem, but Emily could not get beyond the hurt and it was all on me.

After a period when I thought that Emily might forgive me, I began dating again. I knew I was not going to have another “steady or serious” relationship any time soon. I was more careful about going beyond “friends” or using certain words in my relationships. I think that may have led others to believe I was not capable of making a lasting commitment.

In September 1963, I would begin a relationship with no expectation that anything would develop from it. It would lead to a marriage that lasted more than 58 years with Eva, the love of my life.

God had a plan.

Roy Orbison – It’s Over