When Three Is Better than Two

Eva and I had been married for 3 years and 38 days when Tammy joined our family at 4:23 that Tuesday afternoon. However, she had already impacted our marriage in a big way beginning months before. Our focus as a young couple was getting through the month with our bills paid and sharing our time together when we were not working. Truth is, not much time or money was put into “dating.” We were married, working hard, and learning about each other as time went by. We fell into a marriage with routines for our daily lives.

When Eva convinced me that we were ready as a couple to become parents, things started to change in a positive way. Eva wanted to have a baby sooner rather than sometime in the future. She found a way for us to spend time together, then to make that time special. It was like we were dating again but better. We talked about how the baby would add to our lives and not what freedoms we would lose. Eva was a positive person, but during her pregnancy, she was a happy person. We adjusted for the loss of her income and still were able to buy what we needed for the baby.

When we got home from the hospital, we had the crib in our bedroom and had the bottles, formula, and diapers ready for action. God provides women with a better instruction book than us guys, but then guys do not read instructions anyway. Eva’s Mom was always available to help when needed. Our focus was on Tammy and her needs, but we shared that effort and associated tasks.  Such a tiny baby can turn your world upside down, altering your sleep, and causing you to worry over things that seem scary at times.

Our activities changed to become centered around Tammy and her needs and the friends that we spent time with either had kids or one on the way. Eva would find time to tell me the things that she and Tammy had done that day, especially her “first times”. We had the “bad nights” when Tammy had problems sleeping or illness and those were learning and growing moments. I learned how loving and caring Eva was toward our baby and toward me. I learned to be a parent and a more loving husband in the process.

Before Tammy was born, Eva had read about the latest and greatest things for babies. She had read articles about the Playtex Nurser bottles and how they would not allow air to get into the baby’s stomach; therefore, no colic. She had bought many of them with the bags, holders, and those special nipples. She taught me how to use them and how to sterilize them. One day, I was in the garage, and I smelled something like burning rubber. I went into the house and saw smoke coming from the kitchen and a horrible odor. When I got to the cooktop, I saw the pan with the nipples melting. There was no water in the pan. Eva came running into the den with Tammy. She started crying when she saw what she had done.

I went to the store and bought a large supply of the traditional baby bottles and all the other items and took them home. I could not help from laughing while I was explaining we would be doing the baby bottles the “old fashion way” going forward. Our trash can smelled for weeks from that day. That may be why Eva did not try new ways of doing things for our babies.

Very few people get through life without making mistakes, it is how we deal with them that matters the most. Our love grew stronger and we laughed along the way.