Finding Positives From Negatives

I would be surprised if anyone planned for negative events to be part of their future. I doubt any of us will ever get through our lives without at least one of them. Most of us will have multiple, some small, and some I will call life-changing. Regardless of the size, they are all a part of defining who we will be in our final days. The “Just One Change” article I wrote explored the idea that making a different decision at one of those unexpected events might have changed how our history unfolded.

The sage advice I remember getting from my mom when I was not happy about something I did not expect was, “Get over it, life goes on!” She was right, and I did not think about the issue again after a few days. That worked for my dating life during 10^th and 11^th grades. At the beginning of my senior year, one of my friends was killed in an auto accident. He had just turned 19 and had been working on the filming of “The Alamo” and was coming back to Houston for a break. I knew that young men had died while fighting in wars and that young people died in auto accidents, but I was not prepared for what I was feeling with his death.

That brought a sense of understanding that life can end without notice; however, I cannot say I learned the full message at that point. I had a “going steady” girlfriend, Pat, during my senior year that ended after graduation, to my surprise, but I got over it. I took a summer job working in a hot machine shop to earn money for college, to start earning as soon as possible. I learned that was not what I wanted to do for a career, but I did not see that as a “positive” at that point, nor did I recognize what I could manage if required.

In my first year of college, I was in a five-car freeway accident, and Caroline suffered a broken leg. While I was not responsible for the accident, for several months, I saw her struggle to get around with a cast on her leg on campus. She could not have wanted to continue to be friends, but she continued to ride with me to college the remainder of the school year. We talked about that at the 50^th High School Reunion.

I went to work at Gulf Oil for my summer job in 1962 and decided to take college courses at night for the fall semester and keep working at Gulf Oil. I bought a car, and I liked working at Gulf. I was dating Emily when her parents moved to California, but she decided to live with her aunt and uncle to stay in Houston. We got engaged before her parents convinced her to move to California. The plans were for me to move there later, go to college, get a job, and then get married there. Two days after giving my two-week notice at Gulf, the engine in my car locked up, requiring me to get a rebuilt engine. My moving plans were put on hold until I could pay off some bills and save for the move. Emily moved back to Houston, but our engagement would end due to poor decisions on my part.

While still working at Gulf, I started dating Eva. I had known her since the third grade, but I was not interested in getting into another committed relationship with anyone. A few months later, we got married. Two months later, my boss told me he was moving me to a night shift and giving my job to the son of the VP of Operations at the Venezuela Gulf Refinery for the summer. I got angry, and that led me to take a job working at NASA.

I could list many other events that would not have been in my plans, which occurred over the next 60 years, and most of them had a significant impact on our lives. I did not fully understand how important each of those events was that led to a blessed life. The loss of a good friend while in high school gave me a feeling of losing someone close. The relationship Pat and I had was exciting, but not meant to be lifelong. A broken leg did not end a friendship with Caroline. The engine problem that prevented me from moving to California played a part in the breakup of Emily and me, but I realized later that God’s plan was for Eva and me to be life mates. The decision by my boss at Gulf prompted me to quit and work at NASA, which jump-started a career I could have never planned.

When we are experiencing those unplanned and unwanted events, it is not easy to think about the possibility that it might be taking you to a better outcome. The problem of being a victim is that it clouds your vision and takes away your ability to be positive. I am a slow learner, and it took me longer than it should have for me to understand how important these verses are.

Proverbs 3:5 NIV
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Romans 8:28 NIV
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Philippians 4:13 NIV
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.