I probably should not admit this, but prior to Eva’s passing away, I did not go to the cemetery just to visit grave sites. If I were there for a funeral, then I would go to see my parents’ marker and other extended family members buried there. I don’t know if other men are like me, but I am sure women may be different. I think about Eva virtually every day, and I often write about things involving her.
Yesterday was the day that best suited Jennifer’s schedule to go as a family to take Christmas flowers for Eva. Those visits now involve a three-year-old and a seven-month-old. When Jennifer was getting Aurora dressed, she told her that they were going to see the ducks. Her reply was, “Are we going to Pop’s garden?” Blessed are the innocents.
It was foggy yesterday morning with heavy mist in the air. We were about halfway there when it began to rain, and the cars on the Tollway seemed to drive more dangerously, especially given how hard it was to see. Everyone was hoping the rain would stop before we arrived, but unfortunately, it didn’t. When Aurora saw the ducks, she wanted to get out and try to play with them. Kaylee got out with me to hold an umbrella while I changed the flowers, so we didn’t stay as long as we wanted, and we didn’t go to my parents’ site. It makes the visit special when some of the family goes with me.
When we were almost back home, the rain stopped, and it cleared up. We ate lunch here and visited for a while before Jennifer had to take care of some errands. When you are alone most of the time, it is easy to think others are so busy that there is not much time to think about us.
I realize Eva is with me as much when I am home as she is when I am there, but it does feel like I am there for her at that moment and for only that purpose.

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