A Father’s Advice

I was having trouble sleeping, and I kept having “father’s advice” pop up in my thoughts. Sometimes I will have memories or things I need to do the next day or later in the week that keep me awake. That would happen often when I was still working, especially if I was developing a major system. I would get up and make some notes so that I could finally get to sleep. The more I thought about those two words, the more I wondered what it was about.

My father and I never had that “birds and the bees” talk, nor did dad ever sit down with me and give me advice on any subject. We never once play catch with a baseball, a football, or any game of any kind. He did not hunt or fish, nor did he tell me about ever doing either of those things. I never saw my dad read a Bible or pray, let alone try to tell someone how they should live. However, I knew he knew a lot about what the Bible teaches. When I got old enough to mow the grass or work on the car, we would talk about those things that he wanted me to do. At times, he expressed gratitude for my actions, while at other times, he made it clear when he was unhappy with something I had done.

He never sat down with me and talked about the “dos and don’ts” or what kind of girl to date or marry. He never suggested college, a career choice, or other life decisions. It dawned on me what he had done that had impacted my entire life. It was not what he said, but what he did that became his advice to me.

He was a diligent worker who always strived to be the best and never complained about having to work or his responsibilities. He never wished for things he did not need, nor did he buy anything he could not afford. He paid cash for everything he bought except for the house. He paid cash for every car, including seven new cars. He did not drink or use drugs, but he smoked heavily, like many did during that period. He would read the newspaper daily, every section and article. He knew history and understood politics. For much of his life, Texas saw very few Republicans win elections.  At that time, both liberal and conservative Democrats held office, but he always refrained from voting for liberals.

What he taught me by his actions:
Respect others, even if they don’t deserve it.
Be responsible for my actions and those of my family.
Be honest, even when it hurts.
Be the best I can be with all things I do.
Don’t buy what I cannot afford to pay cash for (house and cars have been my exceptions).
Know the details on issues, especially before voting.
Don’t try to live someone else’s life for them.
Marry your wife for a lifetime (good and tough times).
Help others without controlling them.

As a teenager, I did not think I wanted to be anything like my dad, and if he had given me this list, I would have thrown it away. He and I are not the same in many ways, but I know he influenced me in these ways.