To My Grandchildren

“Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines of our family story into a beautiful picture.”

As a child, I had an older brother and two sisters, one older and one younger. I was also a part of extended families on my mother’s and father’s sides. My mother had three sisters and three brothers who lived long enough for me to know them as aunts and uncles. My father had three brothers and two sisters, adding more aunts and uncles to the family, including my grandmothers and grandfathers from both of my parents. Your grandmother had an older sister, a younger sister, and a younger brother. She also had several aunts and uncles on both her father’s and mother’s sides.

On my father’s side, I had six cousins that I knew and two that I never met. On my mother’s side, I had fourteen cousins that I knew and one whom I never met. All those aunts and uncles, plus their spouses and children (cousins), made up the two extended families I grew up part of. Your grandmother also grew up part of the two extended families that her parents were part of.

“God made us cousins because He knew our moms couldn’t handle us as siblings.”

My mother’s extended family remained close and continued an effort to get together at least once a year, even to the last one who passed away. When we were children, the Jones Family would get together at Christmas or Easter at Momma and Daddy Jones’ house, and it would be people everywhere. Our cousins would talk about anything and everything, and sometimes play games. There were big age differences between the oldest and the youngest, so as the years went by, those older or even married would no longer be there.

For years, we held Jones Family Reunions each summer with as many relatives as possible. We had to reserve a place large enough to handle that many people. Every family would bring food and drinks for lunch. We would take pictures and talk about the latest family news. Our cousins had spouses and children, and over the years, our children had their own spouses and children. Those family reunions were organized by one of the cousins. As we all aged, it became difficult to continue the reunion involving children and grandchildren. The cousins tried to get together for a Jones Family Christmas each year for the remaining brothers and sisters, and as many of the cousins who could attend. We have continued that tradition each year when possible. Over the years, as we age, our numbers are getting smaller, and one day our get-togethers will cease.

Over my years, relationships with my cousins were an important part of keeping in touch with extended family relationships and keeping the memories of those early years. The family heritage is more than the blood we shared; it was the love we shared. We have shared tears at funerals when one of our parents, spouses, brothers, or sisters has been remembered.

To my grandchildren:

Let me tell you how important I believe it is to maintain a good relationship with your cousins. That is your best source to learn more about your grandparents and about events you were not present at. There will come a time when you have nothing but time and questions. A time when you have lost a loved one, and you need more than friends to share tears with, those are cousins.

“Cousins are the siblings we never got to choose – but wouldn’t trade for the world.”

For Eva and me, our daughters made our marriage into a family. That increased the love we shared many times over. As they got married and gave us six grandchildren, we had our own extended family. There is something magical about grandchildren that brings so much love to grandparents, that brings joy that is hard to describe, but maybe this phrase helps: “You are our pride and joy!”

When my days on this earth come to an end, I want you to always hold on to these things:
Stay close to each other, because the ones who shared your childhood will always understand your heart better than anyone else. Know that you were the very best thing that ever happened to your grandmother and me. When you miss me, take care of yourselves and of each other; that is all I ever really wanted.

Even when I’m gone, my greatest wish is that you hold each other close, remember how deeply you were loved, and carry that love through your lives.

“Cousins: same roots, different branches, endless love.”