Where The Roses Never Fade

I have been trying to stay busy doing various things and writing about some of everything. I have had Eva on my mind since Father’s Day, but I felt people may be overloaded with that topic. I feel the need to put this in writing, so this is for me.

“Where The Roses Never Fade” is a song that Eva sang many years ago, and it was on the list of songs she had selected to be played during her service. The list was given to me in 2008 when she was being treated for cancer. I did not have it played because I chose recordings of her singing songs at church instead of her selected songs. When I listen to Cristy Lane sing this song, I remember the smile on Eva’s face when she was singing it during that church service. Eva was grateful for the opportunity and gift to be able to sing about God’s love and Grace. However, it was rare for her to have a smile while singing most songs.

Eva loved flowers of all kinds, especially roses. She liked lilies but could not be around them due to allergies. She had to take medicine before Easter Service, or she could not sing in the choir. I did not buy a lot of cut flowers for Eva, because she felt many men did that to try to make up for something. She loved the flowers that we planted and enjoyed together. Many years ago, we had a rose garden with over forty different bushes and many colors. We would have many scratches at pruning time.

The words tell of a place much different from what we experience here on Earth, a place where roses never lose their beauty or fade. A place where Satan cannot enter or cause pain. Another song by Casting Crowns, “Scars in Heaven”, says the only scars that can be found there are the scars in the hands that provide Salvation.

I remind myself that you no longer have pain or concern about the things of this world, and that brings me comfort. It has been 38 months since you left, and I have adjusted to that reality; however, some days all I can think about is you. The thoughts may produce tears and regrets that I did not do something in those last days or hours. I know that is normal, and I allow myself to do that for a brief period and then focus on a happy memory, of which there are many.

I recall that Saturday when we stood there in church and committed to be together until “Death do us part.” I had no appreciation for all the events that would include, but I would do it again. Our struggles were what made our love stronger and gave life greater meaning. Each new day brings me closer to the day we will be together again.